Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
