Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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