Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
