I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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