I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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