I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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