I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
