about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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