a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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