And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
