i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
