So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize