sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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