I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.