i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you