Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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(256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it. http://tfl.nu/bdg5

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(714): View more from California

Who was that guy you went home with?

(1-714): View more from California

Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.

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(714): Who was that guy you went home with? (1-714): Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now. http://tfl.nu/q2tl

Replies (45) Good night (6631) Bad night (1344)
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(905): View more from Ontario

MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

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(905): MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. http://tfl.nu/mzwz

Replies (40) Good night (5458) Bad night (1569)
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(716): View more from New York

once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

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(716): once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party http://tfl.nu/h6v5

Replies (10) Good night (964) Bad night (3919)
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(804): View more from Virginia

For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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(804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc

Replies (5) Good night (4501) Bad night (868)
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(740): View more from Ohio

he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

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(740): he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life http://tfl.nu/cbjj

Replies (24) Good night (5421) Bad night (2430)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.

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(615): Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify. http://tfl.nu/zod7

Replies (6) Good night (4277) Bad night (1226)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are you speaking in third person?

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.

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(902): Why are you speaking in third person? (1-902): Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/1fh5

Replies (5) Good night (3344) Bad night (803)
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(847): View more from Illinois

That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.

(847): View more from Illinois

You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.

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(847): That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy. (847): You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth. http://tfl.nu/gv40

Replies (12) Good night (2039) Bad night (699)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.

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(910): Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap. http://tfl.nu/jw87

Replies (4) Good night (1368) Bad night (1105)
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(514): View more from Quebec

please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

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(514): please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him http://tfl.nu/t57p

Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (644)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.

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(412): Dude, it's not gay. It's winter. http://tfl.nu/4ls1

Replies (11) Good night (986) Bad night (442)
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(619): View more from California

You in for a dick vacation?

(1-619): View more from California

YES, even though I have no idea what that means

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(619): You in for a dick vacation? (1-619): YES, even though I have no idea what that means http://tfl.nu/ak79

Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (259)
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(702): View more from Nevada

My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.

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(702): My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that. http://tfl.nu/98gg

Replies (4) Good night (625) Bad night (323)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote

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(717): I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote http://tfl.nu/lx18

Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (544)

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