Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours

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  (818): yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours http://tfl.nu/fxuo
  Replies (9) Good night (1516) Bad night (586)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?

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  (202): Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded? http://tfl.nu/h9bc
  Replies (19) Good night (1883) Bad night (3921)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'

  (253): View more from Washington

  no more ever clear

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  (253): so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning (1-253): because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha' (253): no more ever clear http://tfl.nu/f9lp
  Replies (33) Good night (7411) Bad night (1030)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night

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  (713): woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/ddwb
  Replies (30) Good night (4694) Bad night (761)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said

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  (419): I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said http://tfl.nu/s0mp
  Replies (21) Good night (4676) Bad night (1100)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!

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  (541): I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed! http://tfl.nu/rzlj
  Replies (13) Good night (643) Bad night (2343)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke

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  (201): She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke http://tfl.nu/9cxf
  Replies (1) Good night (1452) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  probably "functioning vagina, must touch"

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  (228): I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her? (601): probably "functioning vagina, must touch" http://tfl.nu/w791
  Replies (4) Good night (1447) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight

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  (775): He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight http://tfl.nu/2xsm
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"

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  (203): At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?" http://tfl.nu/4r68
  Replies (5) Good night (1694) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol

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  (610): I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol http://tfl.nu/5mb9
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.

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  (410): Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/m5qa
  Replies (10) Good night (353) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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  (425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.

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  (270): Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash. http://tfl.nu/fwcr
  Replies (8) Good night (283) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?

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  (586): I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going? http://tfl.nu/v2ci
  Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (312)

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