what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores