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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  i turned job hunting into a drinking game..

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• (713): View more from Texas

  well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.

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• (516): View more from New York

  so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..

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• (562): View more from California

  I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie

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• (206): View more from Washington

  There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  First world problems.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?

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