So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
