The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
