How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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