Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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