Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize
