I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
They have beer where we have blood.
I think people are normalizing furries
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
