I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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