I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
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So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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