can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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