sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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