oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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