I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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