I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize