I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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