theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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