Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize