i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
