Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize