if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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