we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
