By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
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Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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