no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
