Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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