The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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