giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
