Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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