Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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