Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize