i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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