He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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