If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize