You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
