I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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