As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
