Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
