She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
