Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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