my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
