I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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