He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
