i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i came on her dog
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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