Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
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I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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