DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
