It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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