Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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