I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
