What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
