What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize